Now I will provide some commentary about the caste system and arranged marriages. This is what I understand from discussions with our guide and online sources.
The caste system has its origins in ancient India and was transformed by various ruling elites in medieval, early-modern, and modern India, especially the Mughal Empire and the British Raj. The collapse of the Mughal era saw the rise of powerful men who associated themselves with kings, priests and ascetics, affirming the regal and martial form of the caste ideal, and it also reshaped many apparently casteless social groups into differentiated caste communities. The British Raj furthered this development, making rigid caste organization a central mechanism of administration. India after achieving independence in 1947 enacted many affirmative action policies for the uplifting of historically marginalized groups as enforced through its constitution. These policies included reserving a quota of places for these groups in higher education and government employment. In 1947 Gandhi said that the caste system should be eliminated when India became a free country.
India’s caste system was officially abolished in 1950, but the 2,000-year-old social hierarchy imposed on people by birth still exists in many aspects of life. The caste system categorizes Hindus at birth, defining their place in society, what jobs they can do and who they can marry.
The caste system divides Hindus into four main categories – Brahmins (priests), Kshatriyas (warriors), Vaishyas (merchants) and the Shudras (laborers). Many believe that the groups originated from Brahma, the Hindu God of creation. Hundreds of subcastes exist in each caste. Here is a link to a document that shows the castes that exist in the state of Rajasthan: https://www.matchfinder.in/castes-subcastes-in-india.
Our guide, Jai, can be identified as a member of a caste by his name. Here is what he told us about where he fits in the caste system: Jaivardhan (given first name – no link to a caste), Singh (middle name) = Rajput (2nd highest caste – warrior), Rathore (last name – indicates subcaste, clan). He is also a member of a sub-sub caste (Ratansinghot).
Of course, we have all heard about a subcaste of the Shudras (laborers) called Untouchables. The reason they were called Untouchables is that they worked in dirty jobs. Years ago they didn’t have the cleaning agents that we have today and washed with only water and sand.
People are assigned to a caste at birth based on the family they come from. One way the caste system has an impact is that people do not marry outside their caste. There is no law against intermarriage between castes, just tradition. They do, however, marry across subcastes because marrying within a subcaste is like marrying your cousin. They don’t get married within the same bloodline going back five generations.
Apparently the caste system is not a ladder with one rung being higher than the other.
In India marriage age legally starts at 21 for men and 18 for women. In the rural areas where 75% of the people live, the majority of the people get married shortly after those ages. They would marry sooner if the law allowed. Only a few percent of the young men stay in the village. They go away to the city to find work, then they come back to the village to marry (their marriage will already have been arranged), then they return to the city to continue their job. They come back to the village occasionally to see their family but are apart for much of their lives. The number of young males in rural areas is declining as they flee to the cities. Family separation is less in the cities.
In more educated families it is viewed that the man is ready for marriage when he is settled in his life which may be at 27 or 28 (our guide, Jai, married at 27), but the marriage age may be earlier for businessmen. Women are viewed as ready for marriage when they finish their education.
Most of the marriages still are arranged. At the appropriate time, the families of the men and women will start asking around about prospective mates for their child. At weddings you let people know that you are looking for a match for your son or daughter.
When families have identified a prospective match, they exchange two things:
1. Photo, closeup and full photo, 2. BioData – height, weight, education, job, etc, etc. Families exchange this data and talk to relatives before they talk to their son or daughter. If both families think there could be a match, then the parents meet each other. They also try to find out a lot about the other family. Then the parents of the boy meet the girl. This process can be a little different from caste to caste. Once they agree about the match, they notify their children who must approve. The boy and girl ask friends about each other. Then they try to find a way to talk to each other.
Both parents want the woman to be equal or a step or two lower in standing in life and education.
A third thing that is most important is the horoscope. A horoscope is done by a priest when a baby is born. Horoscopes are compared for the prospective couple on a 0 to 32 point scale. Above 18 points they can marry, below 15, no. At 31 or 32 parents may say “no”, too much alike. Jai says that he still goes to a priest at important times to have his horoscope interpreted. For example, when to schedule a C-section for his second child.
When the parents meet, the boy’s parents come with a gift, mostly jewelry. They ask permission to give the gift to the girl. If yes, they are almost engaged.
On engagement day the prospective couple meets in a public place or in one of their parent’s houses. After an hour or two discussion they decide yes or no. A priest had decided the engagement day based on horoscopes. There is a small ceremony to exchange rings. After that, the girl’s parents want the wedding as soon as possible. Again, a priest decides the wedding day.
Next both families go to a printer to get wedding cards printed with Lord Gnisha. They also put an image or statue of Gnisha in both houses. There are separate celebrations at each family’s house. The main ceremony takes place at the bride’s family’s house, but only men go to that ceremony in Jai’s caste.
Originally a dowry was a way for a wealthy father to be able to give much to his daughter. Then it became competitive about trying to show a good status of your family. Now legally a dowry can’t be demanded, but sometimes it still happens.
98% of marriages in India are arranged. Only 2 or 3% divorce. There is a higher divorce rate for “law” (non-arranged) marriage.
Jai said that one reason for the low divorce rate for arranged marriages is that when you get married to someone you don’t know well, you try to be your best. After 1 or 2 years of being your best, you have kids, and the focus of the marriage changes to the kids. I assume that there also is a lot of family pressure for the couple to work things out and stay together. Jai also said that it is a marriage of families in India.
Hindu weddings occur during three periods of multiple weeks each during a year. After the marriage the bride lives in the groom’s family’s house.
Indians still conduct their social lives largely within caste hierarchies. A majority of Indians say that their close friends are mostly members of their own caste, including roughly one-quarter who say all of their close friends are from their caste. And most people say it is very important to stop both men and women in their community from marrying into other castes, although this view varies widely by region. For example, roughly eight-in-ten Indians in the Central region say it is very important to stop inter-caste marriages for men, compared with just one-third in the South who feel strongly about stopping such marriages.
You can read a lot more detail about the caste system here – https://www.swindia.us/the-caste-system-of-india/
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