Thursday, November 28: Day 220 – Unconventional Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States of America also known as Woman’s Slavery Day!!

I never understood why women had to spend the whole day in the kitchen cooking this enormous bird that didn’t fit on any platter in the house. And the lady brings the perfectly browned turkey (if she’s lucky) to all the assembled carnivores salivating at the table. There are oohs and aahs and sometimes even applause.

I don’t even like turkey and don’t get me started on that slimy breadcrumb stuff. That’s why they call it stuffing, you know.

I love mashed potatoes with butter but they are ruined when someone puts brown greasy gravy on the whole plate of potatoes. Why not use a gravy boat and spare me? Sometimes I can dig underneath and rescue a few unadulterated bites. There is a reason they use the word smother!!

Jello. Now we are talking, but why ruin it with carrots. What evil nutritionist ever thought that was a good idea?

The only part that I will eat of the sweet potatoes is the marshmallows on top…and I got in trouble for that even though I was told, “You have to eat something.”

And why ruin perfectly good green beans with cream soup and onion rings.

And what is that gelatinous red stuff that has the can impression on it?

And then there are leftovers cleverly converted into turkey tetrazzini, turkey sandwiches, etc. The Internet is crashing due to the frantic women who are trying to figure out what to do with all this turkey.

And the trouble with leftovers is it makes more leftovers. When is the last time that the family ate the entire turkey tetrazzini casserole? We are not making any progress.

The worst part of asking What’s for dinner and hearing something with the word Turkey in it is that just about the time that the last piece of Turkey has been gobbled up, it’s Christmas and it starts all over again.

To further this sexist holiday, the menfolk are allowed and even encouraged to watch football on TV. And I pity the fool in his lazyboy wearing his elastic-waisted Fatty McButter pants yelling for another beer…without even a please.

When I was younger, I saw the writing on the wall and snuck out of the kitchen to watch football. Sadly, I was missed since I was the only girl.

“Brenda, get in here and help me.”

“Ah mom, can’t I lay here and watch football?”

“No.”

Now fast forward to when I have a family. The first few years are easy because I just showed up at family gatherings.

Then somehow things changed and we are not traveling to see family on Thanksgiving anymore. Rob indicated that we should make a turkey this year.

“Why?” I asked naively.

“It’s a tradition.”

I won’t go into details, but it was just me in that kitchen and there were tears involved. Rob told me that I didn’t have to do it again. He said that we could find a Thanksgiving buffet from now on.

However, Rob loves turkey…and really loves leftover turkey which he doesn’t get if we eat at a restaurant.

So here is our compromise. He likes the white meat of the turkey breast so the day after Thanksgiving on Black Friday, I always find a great deal of my own at the grocery store. I buy a turkey breast because NOBODY buys a turkey the day after Thankgiving.

I put it in the oven at some convenient time over the long weekend, and Rob and I both monitor its progress. Rob slices it for dinner and we freeze most of it for later…like Christmas!!

Today we are in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and I went on Facebook and saw that a place was having a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Rob is all about it so we arrived…